I Have a Secret

So I have a secret that I discovered this morning.












Do you see a 2nd line here?


Well how about this??

So yeah, it's a BFP! It looks like my body and our schedule was able to get it's act together and we are PREGNANT!!!

Today I am 11dpo and I really have no idea what even possessed me to even test this morning. I just got up and decided, what the heck, I'll test with one of my internet cheapie tests. I was totally expecting nothing.

To my absolute shock and surprise, a faint line started to show up. I didn't have my glasses on nor my contacts in, so at first I thought I was seeing things. Put my contacts in, looked again, and yep, there's a faint line. NO WAY!!

Still in disbelief, I went digging through my bathroom cabinet that had some digital hpt's that I had been saving for such occasion. And yes, I saved my cup of pee from the fmu, so I was good to go. I process the test, and wait... As evident above, it said "Pregnant".

I woke up Mr. H2O this gently asking if he had his glasses nearby and if he could see if he can see what I am seeing. He asks what it's about. I say, well it's a hpt and I'm wondering if I'm seeing things, or if there is really a second line. He gives me an eye roll (because he knows it's a little early), takes a look and says, "well I guess there is a faint line there"... then I hand him the digital.

So I am quite excited, and over the moon. I'm not sure if it's quite sunk in for me yet, and I'm pretty sure it hasn't sunk in for the Mr. either.

According to my due date forecaster, our first baby is due to arrive May 19. So now this new journey begins. Stick baby, STICK!

NEXT!

No luck on this last one. Now I'm on to cycle #5. I know everyone was waiting with baited breath.

Mr. H2O says that I'm putting all this pressure on myself. I disagree. I mean I do have this thing about wanting to have at least 1 kid before I turn 30. And since my 29th birthday is a month away, my time for that goal is running out in a few months. But it won't be the end of the world if our first kid doesn't arrive before then.

Am I setting myself up for disappointment? I don't think so. Sure, I am a little disappointed when AF arrives instead of a bfp, but I need to keep a positive attitude and move on to the next chance. It's not time to freak out yet.

Nope, I'm just on to a new cycle where I hope that we sucessfully knock out AF on her ass and have a healthy baby on the way. I hope this will be the one.

Happy 4th Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary to us! Today is our 4th wedding anniversary. Not doing anything that's spectacularly romantic. Just taking a road trip out west to Mr H2O's college reunion, spending tonight in Pittsburgh.

We've been a couple for a total of 8 years and iIt's been a fun 4 years of marriage with just the two of us. Now we are so ready to expand our family of 2 to something bigger.

Speaking of which, my temp rose another day, so it looks like my ovaries finally got with the program and I'm moving on to the 2WW. Need one more high temp to confirm, but yeah, I'm pretty sure it happened. Yeah ME! Now I need to pray for some patience the next 12 days.

To Cut or Not to Cut

I love me some caffeine. My morning cup of coffee has become my normal weekday routine now. I wasn't always like that. It has been only in the last 6-8 months that I started regularly drinking coffee, other than the occasional trip to Starbucks. Then I asked for a coffee maker for Christmas. I got one of those wonderful Keurig coffee makers with those fun little "k-cups" that makes a single cup of coffee at a time. Now it's a habit.

Now that we are embarking on an adventure into baby-land I am starting to think that I may need to cut this new habit that I've started. I've read and read all sorts of opinions, and even asked my midwife mom, but haven't come up with a consistent answer.

So should I cut it out now before I become pregnant? Or wait until I see two lines on that test? Or should I even cut out the caffeine at all, pregnant or not? I am only drinking about 1 cup of coffee a day, and maybe have an occasional diet soda (to which Mr H2O hates). And some places say that caffeine moderation is ok, so one cup won't hurt.

It seems to be a controvercial subject. I'm not sure which side of the debate I'm on. But I'm leaning towards getting my morning fix until I see those two BFP lines.

I Must Stop Reading The Scary Stuff

Some of the my faborite blogs the I like to follow lately are the ones regarding pregnancy/fertility/ttc. I especially love the honest ones that tells it to you like it is. They talk about the real stuff "they" (they = moms/doctors/the rest of the world) don't tell you. Yes, I'm baby obsessed. It is part of my sickness.

Well some of these great funny ladies have recently had their babies. Their birth stories can sound scary enough, but I have come to expect that. Births can have all sorts of twists and turns and it of course is painful. But now I'm reading about the joys of post-partum... now that is scaring the crap out of me. The bleeding, the stitches, the swelling, the pain, the catheters, etc. This is the stuf they seriously don't tell you. It must be the "mom-nesia" that everyone talks about that makes them forget all the crappy stuff that happens afterwards.

I seriously need to stop reading all this before it changes my mind.

Are We Stealthly TTC?

Wow, posts 2 days in a row?? Shocking I know.

Okay, so maybe I should drop the vague act and let it be known that the Mr & Mrs H2O are trying to expand our family (well sort of... more on that soon).

I know I said before that I was going to keep it all secret because I am all superstitious like that... but I need SOMEWHERE to vent and talk about it. So here it is, I am going public. I know there are a few family and friends that know about this blog... so don't make a big deal about it or anything.

So are we or are aren't we TTC? Well at the start of the year, we were. Then after 3 unsuccessful cycles, Mr H2O had recommended that we take a break for awhile to get my health back on track. I was incredibly upset about this because why delay more of what I want so badly. But he was sort-of right. I was back in the "business is running me" phase, I gained back much of the weight I lost last year, and my eating habits and time management was atrocious. So I needed to go back and re prioritize and put me and my health at numero uno. So signed up for gym membership (and sticking to it) and back on Weight Watchers I go.

I've taken some positive steps forward, reduced my office hours, and have also worked on a new attitude (this law-of-attraction thing I'm experimenting with). So far I'm back down 6 lbs and I'm getting a lot happier.

So now that I'm on a better path, and I think Mr H2O may go along with our ttc break being over. We talked the other day briefly since I am anxious that my 29th birthday is coming up quick and I have always had this thing about wanting at least one baby in my arms by the time I'm 30. I told him that "we better get busy". He didn't exactly act opposed to it, but there was no, "ok let's go for it" either.

So as it stands now, I continue to stay on the positive, healthy path and I think we'll take the "whatever happens, happens" approach. Just be relaxed about it... Though I'll still be temping and charting to feed the fever.

Baby Rabies - "When it's more than a fever"

I recently added to my blog roll of my favorite blogs (I'll continually add more) a blog called Baby Rabies. It is a condition that not only the writer ther suffers, but I'm afraid I suffer from it too. My main symptoms seem to be extreme impatience for starting to TTC (that's try to conceive to folks that are not down with the baby crazy verbaige) and complete loss of all practical and rational thought at the mere site of the baby department at Target. Not to mention the tunnel vision I have when I see nothing but pregnant women everywhere I go.

While having this last weekend to myself, when I wasn't working I found myself lurking about on the Nest (www.thenest.com - a great message board site) checking out messages from other women ttc or pregnant and drooling over thier pictures of their nurseries all set up. Then I found myself bookmarking my favortie baby sites on the net for future use, picking out my favorite bedding. Ugh, this is more than just a fever. Mr H20 has no idea how bad it is.

Anyway, Baby Rabies is an extremely entertaining blog and I found that I am not the only one that suffers this sickness. I can totally relate to everything she says. Now I need to read up on her tips on how to infect your husband.

Married Life of H2O

Just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary! Yeah!

Mr. H2O and I celebrated 3 married years together on Tuesday (the 29th). We went and had a nice quiet dinner at one of my favorite places, Dock's Oyster House in Atlantic City and we practically closed the place down. It was a weekday after Memorial Day weekend an we came in a bit later in the evening, so obviously it was not very busy. But it was nice, we had the place almost to ourselves. I love that restaurant, but it is really only a place we can go for special occasions like that since it's a bit expensive.

Overall, it's been a great three years. Sometimes it feels like longer, but that's because we've been together about 7 years now. We've enjoyed being married and our time as just to two of us. But I think the time of being just the two of us is coming to an end... well at least I hope it is coming to an end... soon.

I of course have total baby fever and it's growing by the day. I've probably had it for the whole 3 years we've been married, but now it is getting unbearable. Now it seems everyone I know has just found out they are pregnant or just had a baby. Don't get me wrong, I am totally thrilled for all of them and so happy that they are starting their families. But I want it to be my turn now, it is time. Mr. H2O is making us wait.

What's the hurry? I'm not in a hurry, it's just time. I've always wanted to be a mom my whole life, and I'm at the perfect point in my life to be able to do that with my home business and our improved money sitution. I'm almost 28, and though a lot would say that I "have plenty of time", I was diagnosed with PCOS and that's a strike against me. I'm worried about what problems that will cause and if we don't start now, as I get older it will be harder to conceive. My grandma always says 90% of the things you worry about never happen... but I'm still gonna worry.

At this point, Mr. H2O says he's at "almost". Now I'm just trying to figure out what takes him from "almost" to "sure let's go for it". In the meantime, I'll just look at all the pictures of my friends and families' babies and nurseries and hope my turn is coming soon.