Sunday, May 27, 2007

It's Memorial Day Weekend

So it's Sunday of Memorial day weekend, and it's been a bit of time since I wrote here last. Things are going. I did make it to Onederland, and I finally found a new bathing suit at Kohls for a great deal. But I have been hovering at the same weight over the last few weeks since I kind-of stopped trying.

My business has gotten so busy that I barely have time to do laundry and make dinner, let alone get a work out in. And I've been eating like crap the last couple days and I need to get that in check. It just seems to take so much effort to eat healthy all the time, and if I don't plan ahead and work it all out ahead of time, I don't do as well. But the problem is that I don't have enough time. I feel like my business is running me, instead of me running my business. It is getting me down.

I remarked to Mr. H2O last week that I'm trying really hard to be happy, or that I have been unhappy. Part of it is liking where we live and being used to New Jersey. I like my house, the area is ok, but I guess I am just lonely here. I miss my family, and Jeff's family is great, but they can't sub in totally for my own family. And still don't any friends around here. It's really hard. Another part is the baby issue, which I will get into another time. And the largest reason right now is my business.

At this point my business is running me. I feel like I am drowning in work and I feel guilty when I decide to take an off day. This was not what I envisioned for my business or what I really wanted. And I'm not really sure that I want to grow my business beyond what it is now. It seems that hiring subcontractors and managing them would even be more work. Just getting systems in place to be organized are enough work. I know that Mr. H2O thinks I should grow and do this, and what he wants me to do. But I don't know if I want it. I don't think I ever meant for this to grow beyond my one-woman opperation. I want to have a family. I want to be a Mom. My business was a way to provide income for us by doing what I wanted. And eventually I would pull back when we started our family. I wanted to be a mom to my kids. I don't want to run a virtual staffing agency.

I wanted success for my business, but I never really saw where this could actually take me. Was I afraid of success?

Regardless of all this, I need help. This is where I am at, I have a sucessful business that I cannot give up on and I need to continue to work at it. And most of all, I need an assistant. If not one for my business, one to clean my house and cook meals. I'm tired of feeling like things are out of my control and I am dangerously close to burning out.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

A Good Month, But Help Needed

So it's been a month since I've been here last, but I must say it was a pretty good one. The best news is that I have lost a total of 30 lbs now and I have reached "Onderland" (in the 100's). I haven't been there in over 5 years. I couldn't be more thrilled and I am feeling really good about myself. And I can now visually see my results so far which is a first.

So other good news, my business has really taken off in the past couple months and I have reached capacity for clients and have a full practice. It is very exciting and really helps Mr. H2O and I out a lot. All this is really great, but it is causing me some extra stress because I am worrying about getting all my client's hours in, while still taking care of myself and taking care of my husband and house. Well the latter 3 are suffering a bit.

I am still eating healthy and staying on the diet, but I am not getting as much sleep and I am not getting ANY work outs in lately. And I have gotten REALLY behind my house work with laundry piling up, dishes piling, and I even heard Jeff pick up a broom so it must be bad. I am trying, but I know I can try harder. The biggest thing is that I need to spend less time doing non-billable items early in the day like I normally do and save it for later when I usually hit the wall on "work" type stuff. And I know if I immediately get up and get "dressed to the shoes" that I get a lot more accomplished and it gives me a little more energy. Time to get back to FlyLady.

But even with improving my daily habits and such, I still would like to grow my business a little more and am considering hiring my own assistant. I am just one phonecall away from freaking a little as I don't think I can physically handle another new client and I need to figure out how to remedy this. Michael Russer, well respected real estate speaker/coach had said that there are more Real Estate Professionals out there that need VA's than Virtual Assistants to handle them. I didn't believe him at first, but I am starting to believe him now. I wish I could clone myself, but I guess it's time to begin my assistant or subcontractor search instead of waiting for science.