Thursday, November 20, 2008

Baby This Week

How big is baby this week?Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

Appointment the Other Day

I've been slacking a bit on the latest from my last appointment on Tuesday. All seemed pretty uneventful, and I had to wait for what seemed like forever before I could see the midwife after I did the customary pee in a cup, weight and blood pressure check.

Soon after my midwife came into the room, she immediately wanted to check my blood pressure again. I guess the first reading was pretty high and she was concerned. She took it again and it had gone down a little bit which was better. But I was a little alarmed. She asked if I had been having headaches, and as a matter of fact, all last weekend I was suffering from terrible ones but I chalked it up to sinus headaches. She said that she is going to want me to come in a little more often to check my blood pressure to see if this will be a real concern. So I get to go back again next week to do my glucose test (oh joy!), get my quad screen, and of course check the blood pressure. She said if it still shows as being high, then I might have to be treated with medication. Great.

But I then got a quick ultrasound and saw the sweet baby again. It has grown so much bigger and the heart was beating away. That relieved me a bit. Everything else was ok, no weight gain still, seem to be eating healthy (sort-of).

I'm trying not to worry about the blood pressure thing too much. I'm only 14 weeks. I've read about preeclampsia, and all the fun that goes along with it. At this point I know that it's not that, it's too early. Could just be some minor hypertension brought on by anything. Could have been just a fluke. Could have been anxiety about the appointment (I was a little worried about seeing if the baby and the heartbeat were still there... it was). Could have been the quantity of salt I've been eating, or my lack of water drinking. So I'm praying that all will be well next week. Please pray that it is.

14 Weeks 3 Days

Monday, November 3, 2008

Nothing Much To Report Here

It's been uneventful on the pregnancy front. We've told pretty much everyone we could, and it should be filtering to the ones we couldn't reach. Clothes are getting a little tighter and I've done a small maternity shopping spree.

Mr. H2O is coming up with and actually suggesting the weirdest baby names. I am drawing the line on using numbers or weird mathematical/science terms.

But really, not much going on here. Still have my typical 1st trimester symptoms of tiredness and such. I really can't wait to get my energy back. People keep telling me that I'll wake up one day and feel 3x more energetic than ever. So I'm waiting for that. For now, afternoon naps feel pretty darn good.

12 weeks 0 days

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Update from Appointment Yesterday

Had my first "official" appointment at the doctor's office with someone other than a nurse. I got to meet one of the midwives there, and she is fabulous! My doctor is nice and everything, but I really like her and hope that I get to see her a majority of my visits. I prefer a midwife to a doctor anyways. I'm a little biased about them, being that my mother happens to be a midwife too.

So on to the appointment... No weight gain (that's good since I pigged out in Mexico), results from blood taken last time were all good and normal, and blood pressure good. Basically I am "normal" all the way around. Then I was pleasantly surprised that I got to take a quick peek at the baby again. Yep, it's still there. And it was moving around and heart was beating and everything. Always reassuring.

Of course I asked if I would be tested for Gestational Diabetes early since my history and risk is a little high. So it looks like about the next appointment, they will test me. She also recommended and gave me the diabetic diet to get started on now. Boo. Not totally excited about having to "diet" while pregnant, but I understand. I want to be able to "pass" the GD test or at least keep my sugars in control so they don't have to medicate me and I don't have a giant 10lb baby. We want to keep it "Small and slippery" as one of my mom's midwife colleagues says. I am in agreement.

10 weeks, 2 days

Monday, October 20, 2008

10 Weeks

Now my baby in the ticker looks a lot more like a human baby and less like an alien baby. How exciting! Here's what the Bump (still the Nest to me) has to say:With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

Back From Vaca

We arrived home the other night from our Mexico vacation. We had a great, relaxing time and I just love it there. Having to refrain from drinking alcohol wasn't too bad. They made the virgin tropical drinks extra yummy for me. It is one of our last kiddo-free vacations that we will have. Next time in Mexico, we'll be bringing along a third guest.

So I did great on the flights, I didn't get sick at all the whole time, and found plenty of things I could eat (which I was worried about). Had my normal bloat and sleepiness symptoms, but it was fine because I was relaxed and on vacation. I got plenty of sun too.

So, right before we left we spilled the beans to my family by sending the ultrasound pic. Then we let my in-laws in on the secret while in Mexico with them. Everyone is thrilled all the way around, as expected.

Now we're getting ready to spill it to the rest of the world.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

There's A Baby in There

This is from our 1st ultrasound last night. There is a baby in there! Measuring right on schedule and with a great 163bpm heartbeat and everything. It was so cool to see the little thing in there, and I think Mr. H2O got just a little excited about it too (though he keeps his cards close to the chest).

I am starting to slowly let the cat out of the bag now. Starting to tell my parents and immediate family today and we'll tell my In-laws while on our vacation this week. Everyone else we will tell when we get back from Mexico.

So exciting, isn't it? Now this is really starting to feel real.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


I am hungry. All the time. I can't seem to get enough to eat at any time. I eat a meal, and then I am hungry again in an hour. And it is the kind of hungry that if I don't eat quick, I am going to be sick. It is sort-of bordering on annoying. I do not have enough time to keep interrupting my work in order to eat. And what is worse, I hardly want to eat anything that I have. I have a kitchen full of good food, and when I need to eat, I want none of it.

I guess I am a lot better off than the most of my fellow 1st trimester'ers, with all out morning, noon and night sickness. It worries me slightly that I haven't really been hit with full on morning sickness at this point. Of course now that I've said that, it will probably slam me tomorrow.

Speaking of slightly worried about not having the m/s thing, my first ultrasound is coming up in 5 days. I am praying really really hard that we have a wiggly baby in there with a strong heartbeat. I still have the major sore boobs thing and the mad bloating, so I shouldn't worry too much about the lack of other symptoms. Just need to stay calm until the ultrasound.

7 weeks 2 days

Friday, September 26, 2008

Yikes, It's an Alien Baby

That is what I think when I see my little ticker in the upper right hand corner. It's looking a little alien like right now. Right now all the books and websites say that Baby Barber is the size of a lentil or grain of rice. How cute! My little alien grain of rice.

Not much to report thus far. Overall, I am actually feeling pretty good much of the time. I had an appointment last week where I met with the nurse who asked silly questions, took what must have been 10 vials of blood and peed in a cup. Not very exciting stuff. But I scheduled my first ultrasound that will be a week from Monday at 8 weeks. Can't wait to see a picture of what is in there.

6 weeks 4 days

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ugh... Bloat!

At this point, I just look fat, not pregnant. The bloat is crazy and is making this already slightly plus sized body look fatter. I'm only 5 weeks and a couple days, so there's no way I can blame this on baby belly yet. It's just ugly.

On to other things, I generally feel good. The bit of nausea I had the other day really hasn't reared it's ugly head again. As long as I eat regularly, then I feel ok. Though my super-human sense of smell has provoked a gag reflex for certain smells of certain foods (like Mr H2O's dinner the other night).

Oh, and I don't know if this is some stereotypical pregnancy thing, but I LOVE pickles. They are sooooooo good. I gag at the thought of having them with ice cream though. I just like them by themselves.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Horray for 5 Weeks

Today I am 5 weeks pregnant. Just one week closer to the end. I feel better and more excited as each week progresses without issue or complications. Though it seems like time is ticking by so slowly. I'm sure I'll look back thinking differently about my concept of time passing.

Nausea crept up on me today. It was one of those, I'm getting kind-of hungry and I better eat something or I'll be sick... but even after I eat the nausea still lingers. Oh well. It's another good sign that things are going the way they are supposed to.

And for fun, my baby is the size of an apple seed! here's what the Nest (er, the "Bump" now I guess) says about our baby's progress this week:
Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Speaking of Fortunes...

My last post I talked about my fortune from my fortune cookie the other day. Well I forgot to mention the fortune I received a week ago, the day before my bfp.

Check this out.

I thought is was a good sign then. Guess I was right. :)

How Am I Feeling?

So is there anything new? Do I feel any different. Well it's still early yet but I have a few symptoms of note.
  1. My boobs hurt like hell. I've had the PMS breast tenderness before, but this is a whole new level of tenderness. They hurt from being in the stream of the shower. And I can't tell if a sports bra helps or hurts. Jury is still out.
  2. I have to pee a lot. That is apparently the standard MO for being pg. Though I'm also drinking a lot of water which is what I'm supposed to do. So that's probably why I'm peeing a lot too.
  3. I'm totally boated. I feel like a balloon of air and a balloon of water have blown up in my abdomen. And so far, since it's early, it just makes me look and feel fat. Thank goodness for my stretchy workout pants.
I'm not really complaining about any of the above. They are all signs that the right things are going on in there so I'm content for the symptoms to continue if that means I'm growing a healthy baby.

Besides, read what my fortune said the other day: "Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians." To me it means, that this is out of my hands and in God's hands. So be patient and let nature take it's course.

4 weeks 4 days

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Oh the Irony!

How ironic is it that I bought a Clearblue Easy Fertility monitor I intended to "use the next cycle" and then I get pregnant before I get to use it? Yeah, that's a little crazy. Maybe it's God's/the universe's way of answering my prayers or intentions.

Those CBEFM's are expensive, they can go for $200. But I got this one on ebay, for like $70. I'm not going to complain too much. Really this BFP outcome is a much better one than having to actually use that thing.

Oh and yes, I'm still pg. I've had this compulsion to pee on sticks, and the lines are getting darker, so that's a good sign. Scheuled 1st appointment for next Thursday, 9/18. I'll be 5 weeks 3 days by then. Yay!

4weeks 1day

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I Have a Secret

So I have a secret that I discovered this morning.

Do you see a 2nd line here?

Well how about this??

So yeah, it's a BFP! It looks like my body and our schedule was able to get it's act together and we are PREGNANT!!!

Today I am 11dpo and I really have no idea what even possessed me to even test this morning. I just got up and decided, what the heck, I'll test with one of my internet cheapie tests. I was totally expecting nothing.

To my absolute shock and surprise, a faint line started to show up. I didn't have my glasses on nor my contacts in, so at first I thought I was seeing things. Put my contacts in, looked again, and yep, there's a faint line. NO WAY!!

Still in disbelief, I went digging through my bathroom cabinet that had some digital hpt's that I had been saving for such occasion. And yes, I saved my cup of pee from the fmu, so I was good to go. I process the test, and wait... As evident above, it said "Pregnant".

I woke up Mr. H2O this gently asking if he had his glasses nearby and if he could see if he can see what I am seeing. He asks what it's about. I say, well it's a hpt and I'm wondering if I'm seeing things, or if there is really a second line. He gives me an eye roll (because he knows it's a little early), takes a look and says, "well I guess there is a faint line there"... then I hand him the digital.

So I am quite excited, and over the moon. I'm not sure if it's quite sunk in for me yet, and I'm pretty sure it hasn't sunk in for the Mr. either.

According to my due date forecaster, our first baby is due to arrive May 19. So now this new journey begins. Stick baby, STICK!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fever and Chills Last Night = Temp Spike This Morning

I got a tetanus shot on Monday. My left arm has hurt like hell since. I was contemplating ways to amputate it after I had a terrible night sleeping the night before. At least today, it is feeling a little better.

In the early evening yesterday I decided I wanted to get out of the house since Mr. H2O was gone till later. So I decided to go to my favorite craft store to preview things I want for fall decor and projects.

While shopping, my lower back was sort of bothering me the whole time, and I kept rubbing it. Couldn't tell if it was that muscle spasm that had been plaguing me or what. When I was getting to my end of my sweep of the entire store I all of the sudden felt that something was not right. It was overcoming my entire body and coming in waves where I felt like I was either going to faint or vomit. I just did not feel right at all and I just had to get out of there and get home.

I got in line hoping it would go fast since I was wasn't sure if I would pass out right there. I paid for my items quickly and got in my car. I was white knuckled the whole way worrying I would pass out while driving and cause an accident. But luckily I did get home safely.

All night I was feeling chills and body aches and just generally like crap. I especially had an ache in my lower back which got me all freaked out about my kidneys. The chills and body aches were probably an indication of some sort of fever. But I had no headache or anything. It was strange. And I just felt awful. And we needed to work on catching that O last night and this was not helping.

So this morning I woke up to a big temp spike. Yesterday was only CD 10, so that is WAY too early to O in my case. So I am guessing that I probably had some kind of low grade fever last night. What from, I have no idea. Perhaps the tetanus shot. But I woke up feeling a little better than the night before. Don't feel feverish, or chills or anything. My lower back pain is still kind of there, still thinking it is muscle spasms. But this is all so strange.

So yeah, that's what's going on with me lately.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dear Ovaries,

My Dearest Ovaries,

If you would please cooperate this next cycle, that would be wonderful. I'd preferably like you to do your work in a timely fashion, like CD 14, or somewhere right around there. I know you can do it, you've done it before. So if you can get into gear around then, that would be great.

If you're not able to do it that soon, that's ok, but please do it in some predictable and easy to detect fashion. Mr. H2O and I luckily have a pretty clear schedule, so there should be no interruptions this time to try and catch that egg.

I'm thrilled that you are even managing to ovulate "normally" now, but if you can do anything to help us time it out better would be great. And if we don't catch the egg this cycle (though I have hope that we will), ovulating around the same time in subsequent cycles will be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

Warmest Regards,
Mrs. H20

CD 4

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

It's August... On To Another One

So I've been a little absent. The trip to PDX that went along with my grandmother's passing left me super busy when I got back. I barely got time to catch my breath and catch up on work since my Father and family arrived for a visit 2 days after I got back. Then last week was a flurry of activity with family visiting and still trying to get work done.

Now that I can finally catch my breath, I feel like complete utter shit. I just can't find the energy, motivation, or amount of ibuprofen to get to feel like getting work done or be productive. I just feel sucky.

Doesn't help that AF arrived yesterday so now we are on to cycle... oh I think I've lost count. I think maybe 7 or 8. That break we took in April is throwing me off. But anyway, the last cycle was another one afflicted by bad timing and my body not being so predictable.

It just does not want to cooperated and O at around the same time every cycle and it is driving me crazy. And it seems to happen at the worst times or times when gettin' busy are not possible. The month before I O'd way earlier than I expected... while family was visiting. Now this last cycle I had O'd way LATER than before and of course it happened to fall when I had to leave town for my grandmother's death & funeral. The timing has just sucked lately.

So this cycle should be different. We're not going anywhere, no one is visiting, life should be "normal"... and much easier to get our timing right. Let's just see when my body decides to O this time.

Attention ovaries: Please cooperate and O in a timely manner. Thank you.

CD 2

Saturday, July 19, 2008

I Don't Want Her To Go

I'm an emotional mess right now. Last week my mother informed me that they found that my 86 year old grandmother has cancer. At her age, mental state and physical state, there really isn't much they can do to treat the cancer without harming her further. So basically she's going to die soon.

She was in pain, they've started her on morphine, hospice is involved, and my mother says she may have 1 to 2 more months. This pretty much sucks.

I am beyond upset about it. Growing up, I was extremely close with her. She practically helped raise me and my siblings. She watched us quite often when my parents worked. In the summer, we spent nearly every day at her house in her pool. We were some of her only grandchildren that lived close to her (before we left CA when I was 11) so we all grew very close with her. When my grandfather died, I was so worried about her and didn't want her to be alone in the house, so I spent nearly every night I could at my grandma's, especially around that first Christmas he was gone.

So now I am leaving this week for an unexpected trip back to Portland. Right now she is still lucid, awake and happy, so my Mom advised that if I needed to see her, sooner rather than later would be good. So I'm going out to see, hug and kiss my grandma for what will probably be the very last time. What do you do and what do you say when you know it will be the last time ever that you will see someone? What do you do when you don't want them to go?

I feel like a little kid, asking why do people have to die? I don't want her to go. I wish she could live forever... or at least till 100. I knew that at one day it was going to happen and she was going to die. We're all gonna die someday. I know that. I just wish it wasn't going to be cancer for her. I wish it wasn't happening this soon.

I can stop being so sad about it.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Birthday Was Great

My birthday yesterday was a great day. I got to relax most of the day, then get a little dressed up to do by one of my favorite restaurant's. Here we are at Doc's after our yummy dinner.
Jeff & Megan July 13, 2008
Then we went off to the boardwalk for awhile to walk off dinner and spend a few minutes in the casino and promptly lost our money. It was fun.

Over dinner we kind of got into a philosophical discussion about how we are going to raise our children with faith, and what exactly we are going to teach them. See, Mr. H2O and I are kind of going through a "crisis of faith" so to speak. We like the morals and the teachings of religion that we have been taught through our life, but in our minds, organized religion is flawed because of the fact they are run and governed by humans (who are fundamentally flawed to begin with). Therefor that is one main reason (among others) that we do not practice a formal religion at this time (both of us were raised catholic). We believe in some sort of higher power and hope that there is something more after we are gone, but we just don't know.

Now this is all well and good to go about our spirituality in this fashion for ourselves. But now that we are going to bring children into this world, we are going to become responsible for their spiritual development. And so what do we teach them? what do we go with? Do we baptise our kid even if we don't necessarily believe? These are all the things that we are tossing around, and have come to some decisions that will work for us... though I'm sure there are family members that would give us grief.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Today's Birthday Horoscope

I'm a Cancer and I pretty much almost fit that profile to a tee. So here's my horoscope today. I think it's interesting, all good things.

Intensity characterizes many of your pursuits this year as you focus on what matters most to you and weed out frivolous endeavors. You are feeling light and free when it comes to expressing yourself this year--your personality is sparkling! Solid progress in mental pursuits can be made. More

And for kicks, here are some of my new mantras or afirmations I am utilizing...

All is well. I am safe.
The universe is conspiring in my favor.
I am healthy. I am strong. I am fertile.
From this experience, only good will come.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I start the last year of my 20's. Hooray for me. I don't feel older, and it doesn't really bother me (as much as my siblings try and rub in the fact they think I'm "old). 29 is no big deal. And the fact that I'm almost 30 is no big deal either.

Tonight Mr. H2O and I are going to one of my favorite nice restaurants in Atlantic City for dinner, Doc's Oyster House. It's usually our anniversary spot, but since we didn't really do anything for our anniversary in May, I thought it would be nice a good idea to go there. It has a great "old fashioned" romantic ambiance, like a nice seafood/steakhouse straight out of the 30's or 40's. The food is fabulous too. The french fried shoestring beets are the best (the only beets that I will ever eat).

The "kid before I'm 30" deadline is closing in, but that's ok. I'm remaining positive that it will happen. It's cycle #6, CD 8, and I'm awaiting the O in hopefully the next week or so. It'll be fun. Let's give that bitch AF an knock out punch and get KTFU.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Lots on my mind: Law of Attraction

Ok, So I am new to practicing this law of attraction thing. Over the last few months, the subject keeps coming up in different business seminars I've attended, tv shows I watched, or random conversations. So something was telling me to check it out. And I did, and I have been cautiously studying it the last few months.

This whole, "thoughts are things", power of positive thinking, and vision board phenomena is interesting to me to say the least. I have seen and drawn parallels with my past that this sort of thing has been working through my life and I didn't even know it. And it has nothing to do with my belief or disbelieve in God or organized religion (a post for a different day). But maybe this law of attraction stuff is real and I have always known it, just in a different form.

It has occurred to me that I really "got it" when I was a young child and it has somehow permeated my adult life too, but not as obvious. When I was young, I was always known as the daydreamer, my head in the clouds. But that was the way I was. A Dreamer. I liked to makebelieve, I liked to make up visions of what I would be when I "grew up". There was no upheaval. Money was no object. I didn't have any worries. Anything bad that came up, I would just let it roll off my back.

It wasn't until I was much older, and when I was convinced to stop daydreaming and start listening to the "real world", that things like doubt and negativity really entered my mind. Even as an adult, though probably subconsciously, I still held on to those same childhood dreams of everything being just as I wanted, or always holding a positive attitude and letting things roll of my back like "duck feathers" (as some past coworkers had told me they secretly nicknamed me).

I've watched The Secret, I've seen the shows, I've read the essays, articles and sites from the major law of attraction "gurus". What I am doing is not relying on any one book, or one movie, or one guru, and I am piecing together ideals and practices that make sense to my life at it is now. I am going back to try and be that dreamer I was as a child. There really was nothing wrong with that.

So I am applying these new ways of thinking to my business and especially to my personal life. I am daydreaming and envisioning the dream for my business, and for my real life. And quite obviously, my dreams and vision involves babies and a happy family as well as a successful business (that'll run by itself). Here's to a clear vision an to hope for my dreams to come true.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

My Other Hobby Feeding the Fever

I like being creative and making things with my hands. And I like beads and gemstones and over the years have been very into making beaded jewelry. It is my dream to someday have my current business running on autopilot, so I can embark on a my hobby of making jewelry and perhaps make another business selling my jewelry.

So I'm on this track on making making some "fertilty" braclets with stones or symbols that are cultural or historical aides or reminders of fertility.

Rose Quartz: In ancient times rose quartz had been a symbol of love and fertility and many cultures do belive so today. It is said to promote pregnancy and protection of the mother and unborn child. It is also an excellent stone to bring emotional peace, and ease tension.

Moonstone: This stone has long been associated with women's cycles and it said to promote emotional balance and intuition. In many cultures it is a symbol of fertility and eastern women sew it within their garments to improve fertility. It is also tied to boosting "female engergy" and soothes stress and anxiety.

Now this is not some voodoo or some kind of "magic" thing that anyone who wears it will bear a child. I'm making them because the above stones look very pretty. And they are more of a reminder or a remembrance and to promote fertility or infertility awareness. For right now, I'm making them not just for myself but for family or friends who want them. Eventually, if I do end up selling them, I will be donating some of the proceeds to charity like the March of Dimes.

On to a New Cycle

Today is day 1 of cycle #6. Yeah me! Today I feel like celebrating with a bag of chocolate, a bottle of wine and a bottle of advil.

I had things all wrong with this last cycle, probably because of one missed day, and interruptions in life. It ended up being shorter than previous ones I've had. And I pretty much suck at timing it right... or at least the O time hasn't necessarily worked in our favor.
Last cycle, I happened to have my family visiting, and it looks like it was during my "fertile period". Of course that fertile period was a little earlier than expected. But also, I have thins thing about gettin' busy when I have family members visiting at the house... It's kind of less likely to happen. And my whole schedule was interrupted with less sleep and more alcohol drinking. But I thought I may have been in the clear and had some earlier "fluke" high temps then O'd after that. But since what I had of my LP was amounting to only 10 days (way too short for me), I knew I had to be wrong.

Nope. Looks like I was wrong. It looks like the day I "actually" O'ed was a day that I happened to not take my temp. A morning after I was up until 3:30 am at the band's show. Then I had a couple days of high temps that I thought were just due to my house being abnormally hot those mornings and lack of sleep. But now that AF arrived today, I don't think that was the case.

So we totally missed the O. No March baby. Time to try for an April one. I am vowing to try our hardest not to miss it this time. We will FLB for 2 weeks straight if we have to.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

My Love of the Day

Oh, Champion sports bras from Target, how much do I love thee? Pretty damn much. Those things are awesome.

With the lovely bb tenderness I've been feeling since the weekend, putting them on is like a piece of heaven. They are all I want to wear. Normal bras just don't cut it and hurt a little too much. These things are comfy as hell. I like them so much, I went to target and bought 2 more.

This much soreness doesn't happen that often with me, so maybe this is a good sign??? One can only hope. I'm 6dpo today, so I have roughly a week to see if we were sucessful or not. Keep your fingers crossed!

Not to keep my mind of the 2ww some more.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Another 2ww - Some Craziness Ensues

I had another PCOS victory in that I actually O'd again, so that makes me happy. Now I've entered another 2ww, and that means 2 weeks of waiting, wondering, and acting sort of like a crazy person.

So what are my crazy person symptoms? Well, I seem to have the need to feel myself up every now and to verify that my boobs are indeed tender (and they are). I also psych myself out about every twinge, headache, etc that are pg symptoms from my phantom baby (probably more like a food baby).

Another crazy person symptom is that I seem to wander into the baby sections at local retailers with the overwhelming urge to buy just 1 thing to save for Mr. H2O to give him when I get that elusive BFP. And I actually do it. Nothing big, just a onesie that says "My Daddy is #1". I've been buying little things like that here and there for the past year that will be a cute gift to give him when I do get my BFP. I like cheeky, sarcastic onsies and "daddy" themed things that I think he would enjoy, and get him excited.

Some people say that doing the above will just jinx us... I guess I'm sometimes surround by lots of superstitious people. But I don't want to be superstitious. I want to have hope. I do have hope. And I am so freakin' excited for the day where I get to surprise Mr. H2O with a positive pee stick and some of the goodies I've been saving for our baby.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

17 Teenagers Knocked Up? On Purpose?

What the hell happened to the world? So 17 girls in one school in MA, no older than the age of 16, have all gotten knocked up. And allegedly it was on purpose... some "pregnancy pact" that these girls made. WTF?

Do these girls have any idea what they are in for? Do they know the likelihood of them being in poverty because of their teen pregnancy? It is such a sick sad situation, especially since many of these girls have no business having children at that age.

I think many of them envision that baby bumps are "cute", and how "cute" they will look walking down the halls at school with a kick ass stroller. How "cute" will they think it is when they have a screaming infant at 3am, formula and diapers to pay for, or the fact that they can't go out with friends or do anything because they have another human being to take care of?

Many in the media say teen pregnancy has been normalized by things such as the movie Juno. I recently saw that movie, and maybe it glamorizes teen pregnancy just a touch, but not much. The character Juno is wise well beyond her years and in fact unlike any teenager I have meet in my life. What teenager talks like that?

I think what really normalized teen pregnancy in these teens' minds is the fact that their own school had a free in-house daycare, and even encouraged students to use it in their freshman sex-ed class. "How cool!! I get pg in high school and I won't have to worry because the school will take care of my kid!" *barf*

What ever happened to those after school specials? You know, the ones that showed teen pregnancy and how sucky it makes life, how hard it is, and how people will shun and look down on you. Basically the ones that scared the crap out of kids to never have sex... ever. Heck, those slide shows in health class showing all the gross std pictures were enough for me to remain a virgin for a long time.

Well whatever. It'll be interesting to see how many of these girls make a good decision to give up the babies to loving couples, how many make something of themselves as single moms, or how many become drains on the welfare system.

I just hope to God that if I have daughters, that I will have raised them with the brains enough not to do something like this. Or I can put the fear of god in them about sex like my mother did.

Why can't I be half as fertile as some of these crazy bitches in MA? I've worked hard, I'm ready maturity wise & financially, and I deserve a baby.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Back to Life

We have our house back to ourselves agan. It's nice to get back to routine and all, but it is a little sad to have the house a little emptier after everyone has left.

I just spent last week hosting my mom, brother and sister at my house for some fun. We did all the things you do out here, shopping, visiting the city and heading down the shore for a day. And we were even lucky enough to catch a performance by Mr. H2O's band too. I really had a whole lot of fun while they were here. I only get to see my family once or twice a year, so I need to make the most of it.

Then we dropped lil' sis off in NY and she is heading to South Africa for the next 5 months. She is going to have the most amazing experience there and I am so happy for her. But I already miss her a little too. Spending 8 hours in the car to drop her off and drive back home was a little, well... boring/annoying/monotonous (you spend 8 hours with your mom in a car and tell me how fun it is... really, I love you mom, but in slightly smaller doses).

And though it's a little sad to have the house empty again, it is nice too.

CD 16 (where's the O?)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day to my dad today! I must not forget to call him today.

I am sincerely hoping that next year's father's day will be Mr. H2O's first. He will be such a great dad. Even my mom said so (shocking I know). Can't wait.

On another note, we had a great time last night at our friend's house warming/bbq/kegger party. It was hot and humid as hell, but Tom's parties are always fun. The band played, the cops came once (but we had until 10pm so screw the psycho neighbor 3 blocks over), and then the band's set got cut short due to the insane thunderstorm that came through. I've never seen the band's stuff get packed up so fast. And I might have let slip that we are ttc to some of the gals, but oh well. It's hard to hide the clear fact that I have babies on the brain much of the time.

CD 7

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

*giggle snort*

I think it's funny that my google ads are showing links to towels and cleaning sites. Ha!


No luck on this last one. Now I'm on to cycle #5. I know everyone was waiting with baited breath.

Mr. H2O says that I'm putting all this pressure on myself. I disagree. I mean I do have this thing about wanting to have at least 1 kid before I turn 30. And since my 29th birthday is a month away, my time for that goal is running out in a few months. But it won't be the end of the world if our first kid doesn't arrive before then.

Am I setting myself up for disappointment? I don't think so. Sure, I am a little disappointed when AF arrives instead of a bfp, but I need to keep a positive attitude and move on to the next chance. It's not time to freak out yet.

Nope, I'm just on to a new cycle where I hope that we sucessfully knock out AF on her ass and have a healthy baby on the way. I hope this will be the one.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

My Towels Are Not Soft Enough

I am halfway through the 2WW trying to keep myself occupied for the next 7 days before I obsess about testing or not. (and I am DETERMINED not to test early) So now I'm obsessing about my towels and how they are not as soft as they could be.

We were just out of town and spent one of those nights at our friend's house. Well I noticed that their towels are so nice and soft. My towels seem almost "crispy" and it drives me crazy. So I went in search on how to keep our towels soft and fluffy.

1. Wash towels in warm water. Avoid too hot of water or drying temperatures as that may cause shrinkage.
2. Use half the ammount of detergent as stated on the detergent label and never pour detergent directly on them. If detergent does not rinse out completely it could build up a residue and cause stiffness.
3. Do not use fabric softeners on your towels. It can cause build-up and ruin a towel's absorbency. Acts as a repellent rather than absorber.
4. Deeply colored towels shoudl not be washed with light colored towels.
5. Add 1/2 cup of baking soda to the water of your wash to help increase softness and keep them smelling fresh.
6. Tumble drying towels in a dryer as opposed to line drying, makes towels much fluffier.

So there. I will try all that and make my towels much more soft instead of scratchy. Now what's my next project to obsess about?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Happy 4th Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary to us! Today is our 4th wedding anniversary. Not doing anything that's spectacularly romantic. Just taking a road trip out west to Mr H2O's college reunion, spending tonight in Pittsburgh.

We've been a couple for a total of 8 years and iIt's been a fun 4 years of marriage with just the two of us. Now we are so ready to expand our family of 2 to something bigger.

Speaking of which, my temp rose another day, so it looks like my ovaries finally got with the program and I'm moving on to the 2WW. Need one more high temp to confirm, but yeah, I'm pretty sure it happened. Yeah ME! Now I need to pray for some patience the next 12 days.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

To Cut or Not to Cut

I love me some caffeine. My morning cup of coffee has become my normal weekday routine now. I wasn't always like that. It has been only in the last 6-8 months that I started regularly drinking coffee, other than the occasional trip to Starbucks. Then I asked for a coffee maker for Christmas. I got one of those wonderful Keurig coffee makers with those fun little "k-cups" that makes a single cup of coffee at a time. Now it's a habit.

Now that we are embarking on an adventure into baby-land I am starting to think that I may need to cut this new habit that I've started. I've read and read all sorts of opinions, and even asked my midwife mom, but haven't come up with a consistent answer.

So should I cut it out now before I become pregnant? Or wait until I see two lines on that test? Or should I even cut out the caffeine at all, pregnant or not? I am only drinking about 1 cup of coffee a day, and maybe have an occasional diet soda (to which Mr H2O hates). And some places say that caffeine moderation is ok, so one cup won't hurt.

It seems to be a controvercial subject. I'm not sure which side of the debate I'm on. But I'm leaning towards getting my morning fix until I see those two BFP lines.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I Must Stop Reading The Scary Stuff

Some of the my faborite blogs the I like to follow lately are the ones regarding pregnancy/fertility/ttc. I especially love the honest ones that tells it to you like it is. They talk about the real stuff "they" (they = moms/doctors/the rest of the world) don't tell you. Yes, I'm baby obsessed. It is part of my sickness.

Well some of these great funny ladies have recently had their babies. Their birth stories can sound scary enough, but I have come to expect that. Births can have all sorts of twists and turns and it of course is painful. But now I'm reading about the joys of post-partum... now that is scaring the crap out of me. The bleeding, the stitches, the swelling, the pain, the catheters, etc. This is the stuf they seriously don't tell you. It must be the "mom-nesia" that everyone talks about that makes them forget all the crappy stuff that happens afterwards.

I seriously need to stop reading all this before it changes my mind.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Wish My Body Was Predictable

**Caution... Do not read if you do not want to know personal gritty details about my body or personal life**

It is so weird to go on my whole adult life trying to avoid pregnancy and now throwing caution to the wind and trying to get knocked up seems almost unnatural. But it is exciting.

This is the thing about PCOS that really sucks. Now that I care what's going on with my reproductive and want to get pregnant and all, my body does not want to cooperate naturally. I respond to the pill beautifully, it's once off the pill that my ovaries go haywire. I can go 3 months with no sign of my period because I wasn't ovulating.

Now I'm on Metformin and it seems to be helping a lot with the ovulating issue from what my charts can tell. Now I just wish it would happen around the same time in some predictable fashion. Yes, I know that's what charting is for, but sometimes my pre-O patterns are all over the place. Sometimes it will happen early, and other cycles I O WAY late.

So here I am, waiting to O. Could be tomorrow, could be a week from tomorrow. Wish I had a crystal ball that would just tell me. This week have things to do, and places to go where doing-the-deed will not really be possible.

Cooperate ovaries! Cooperate!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Trying to Work Out this Working Out Thing

I've turned over this new leaf, and I am going to the gym pretty regularly now. The problem I'm having is fitting my sweat sessions into my day in some kind of regular schedule. Time management is not my biggest strength.

So far, I probably have never gone to the gym at the same time from one day to another. I've gone at all different times. Partly because, I want to see what the crowds are like at different times of the day, and partly because I need to fit it in whenever I can since my workload can vary so much. But I think to really be successful at this, I need to make a regular schedule for my gym so I have no surprises and have a plan.

See, when I go to the gym I work hard and sweat a lot... who doesnt, right? So I'm there maybe 1.5 hours. Then since I hate being sweaty and dirty, I have to shower and dress when I get home which can take up to an hour. So, maybe I'm a little high maintenance. I can't seem to decide on what time in my day is best to fit this all in.

I'm not much of a morning person, so I am not likely to get up early and go work out. I start my office hours around 8:30-9:00am, so getting up before then to work out, shower and get ready for my day... like I said, I'm not really a morning person.

Then during the day, it is a little difficult to be away as most of my client work needs to be done then. So it is difficult to interrupt my work mid-day to work out, but that is when the gym is less busy.

Then the evenings after I close up shop, the gym tends to be way crowded. But I leaning towards the evenings since I can shower after at night and it saves me some time the next morning. Just can't make it too late or I have a hungry grumpy Mr H2O.

So yeah, that is my dillema. Nothing monumental. Though in writing all this, I think I've talked myself it to sticking with the evenings.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Are We Stealthly TTC?

Wow, posts 2 days in a row?? Shocking I know.

Okay, so maybe I should drop the vague act and let it be known that the Mr & Mrs H2O are trying to expand our family (well sort of... more on that soon).

I know I said before that I was going to keep it all secret because I am all superstitious like that... but I need SOMEWHERE to vent and talk about it. So here it is, I am going public. I know there are a few family and friends that know about this blog... so don't make a big deal about it or anything.

So are we or are aren't we TTC? Well at the start of the year, we were. Then after 3 unsuccessful cycles, Mr H2O had recommended that we take a break for awhile to get my health back on track. I was incredibly upset about this because why delay more of what I want so badly. But he was sort-of right. I was back in the "business is running me" phase, I gained back much of the weight I lost last year, and my eating habits and time management was atrocious. So I needed to go back and re prioritize and put me and my health at numero uno. So signed up for gym membership (and sticking to it) and back on Weight Watchers I go.

I've taken some positive steps forward, reduced my office hours, and have also worked on a new attitude (this law-of-attraction thing I'm experimenting with). So far I'm back down 6 lbs and I'm getting a lot happier.

So now that I'm on a better path, and I think Mr H2O may go along with our ttc break being over. We talked the other day briefly since I am anxious that my 29th birthday is coming up quick and I have always had this thing about wanting at least one baby in my arms by the time I'm 30. I told him that "we better get busy". He didn't exactly act opposed to it, but there was no, "ok let's go for it" either.

So as it stands now, I continue to stay on the positive, healthy path and I think we'll take the "whatever happens, happens" approach. Just be relaxed about it... Though I'll still be temping and charting to feed the fever.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Power of Positive Thinking???

Trying to think positive... Hoping for positive result...
Should I renew my FF membership for 1 year or 90 days? What to do, what to do.

I should say I am bound and determined to reach this goal within 90 days.

Buying for the year will save money, but then I let the possibility in that it will not happen before 90 days. At least 90 days will remind me that if it hasn't happened by then, it'll be time to see my Dr again.

Decisions, decisions.

Yeah, it's been long

Ok, so it's been a little while. Not too much has changed, but a little has. Mr. H2O received a big promotion at the beginning of the year so that was exciting. And my business has grown significantly in the first half of this year... hence why I've been MIA for awhile.

Let's see... Much of the weight I lost last year came back on. But I'm now back on the right track again thanks to a gym membership and WW. So things are looking up. I've also had a major attitude adjustment and am starting to delve into this "law of attraction" thing and just having more of an overall positive and joyful outlook, in my business and my life.

I'm still baby-crazy as ever. But the Mr and I are hoping that it'll be our turn soon.

I promise, I won't let it go that long anymore.