Are We Stealthly TTC?

Wow, posts 2 days in a row?? Shocking I know.

Okay, so maybe I should drop the vague act and let it be known that the Mr & Mrs H2O are trying to expand our family (well sort of... more on that soon).

I know I said before that I was going to keep it all secret because I am all superstitious like that... but I need SOMEWHERE to vent and talk about it. So here it is, I am going public. I know there are a few family and friends that know about this blog... so don't make a big deal about it or anything.

So are we or are aren't we TTC? Well at the start of the year, we were. Then after 3 unsuccessful cycles, Mr H2O had recommended that we take a break for awhile to get my health back on track. I was incredibly upset about this because why delay more of what I want so badly. But he was sort-of right. I was back in the "business is running me" phase, I gained back much of the weight I lost last year, and my eating habits and time management was atrocious. So I needed to go back and re prioritize and put me and my health at numero uno. So signed up for gym membership (and sticking to it) and back on Weight Watchers I go.

I've taken some positive steps forward, reduced my office hours, and have also worked on a new attitude (this law-of-attraction thing I'm experimenting with). So far I'm back down 6 lbs and I'm getting a lot happier.

So now that I'm on a better path, and I think Mr H2O may go along with our ttc break being over. We talked the other day briefly since I am anxious that my 29th birthday is coming up quick and I have always had this thing about wanting at least one baby in my arms by the time I'm 30. I told him that "we better get busy". He didn't exactly act opposed to it, but there was no, "ok let's go for it" either.

So as it stands now, I continue to stay on the positive, healthy path and I think we'll take the "whatever happens, happens" approach. Just be relaxed about it... Though I'll still be temping and charting to feed the fever.

All is calm in H2O Land

Today is a good day. It is sunny and not too hot or humid and I like it that way. And Mr. H2O is out of town on a business trip today so I have plenty of extra time to work today without worrying about what to do for dinner or if all the laundry is done.

Today, I also have a new sense of clarity. Last night, Mr H2O and I turned off all radio, TV, and closed the laptops and just spent time in the quiet talking with no distractions. It was really nice. I think we should do this one night a week, and I recommend it to every married couple.

And we were finally able to talk over the baby issue (my latest obsession) and really TALK about it. And the good thing is now I've been let in on the secret of what will take us from almost to Yes. It makes sense and I am totally ok with it. And now I know what goal and timeline that we are shooting for and I feel so much better. That was the part that was driving me crazy. The unknown staring me in the face and my impatience was getting the better of me.

I feel good and I'm excited. But this is our secret and our lips are sealed. So when are we go to start trying? No one is going to get it out of me. Even Mom. So stop asking.

Married Life of H2O

Just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary! Yeah!

Mr. H2O and I celebrated 3 married years together on Tuesday (the 29th). We went and had a nice quiet dinner at one of my favorite places, Dock's Oyster House in Atlantic City and we practically closed the place down. It was a weekday after Memorial Day weekend an we came in a bit later in the evening, so obviously it was not very busy. But it was nice, we had the place almost to ourselves. I love that restaurant, but it is really only a place we can go for special occasions like that since it's a bit expensive.

Overall, it's been a great three years. Sometimes it feels like longer, but that's because we've been together about 7 years now. We've enjoyed being married and our time as just to two of us. But I think the time of being just the two of us is coming to an end... well at least I hope it is coming to an end... soon.

I of course have total baby fever and it's growing by the day. I've probably had it for the whole 3 years we've been married, but now it is getting unbearable. Now it seems everyone I know has just found out they are pregnant or just had a baby. Don't get me wrong, I am totally thrilled for all of them and so happy that they are starting their families. But I want it to be my turn now, it is time. Mr. H2O is making us wait.

What's the hurry? I'm not in a hurry, it's just time. I've always wanted to be a mom my whole life, and I'm at the perfect point in my life to be able to do that with my home business and our improved money sitution. I'm almost 28, and though a lot would say that I "have plenty of time", I was diagnosed with PCOS and that's a strike against me. I'm worried about what problems that will cause and if we don't start now, as I get older it will be harder to conceive. My grandma always says 90% of the things you worry about never happen... but I'm still gonna worry.

At this point, Mr. H2O says he's at "almost". Now I'm just trying to figure out what takes him from "almost" to "sure let's go for it". In the meantime, I'll just look at all the pictures of my friends and families' babies and nurseries and hope my turn is coming soon.